Staple and Stapler Challenge
by Lady Valmar
Summary: Just a Challenge from the SGAHC to replace strategic words. I used stapler and staple. The scene is up to the boardroom flashback in beginning scene from Intruder.


Title: Staple and Stapler Challenge

Author: Lady Valmar

Genre: Pants Challenge (sort of)

Rating: T

Archive: FF, SGAHC

Spoilers: Season 2 – Intruder

Summary: Just a Challenge from the SGAHC to replace strategic words. I used 'stapler/staple'. The scene is from the beginning of Intruder.

**Warnings:** It's pretty funny but I'm warning you don't drink soda and read it at the same time.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Atlantis or any of the characters. Transcript curtsy of Gateworld dot net. Ionly edited a few strategically placed words…hehe.**

**Challenge**: From Derry at SGAHC - All this pants discussion has had me thinking about that old pants  
game. Many of you probably know it. Take a quote or quotes and replace words with the word "pants" in strategic places.

... **.LV. **...

**Staple and Stapler Challenge**

By _Lady Valmar _

_

* * *

This is up to the boardroom flashback in the beginning Scene from Intruder_

Transcript curtsy of Gateworld dot net

Pants challenge for SGAHC revamped with the word Stapler/Staple instead (In honor of Office Space - the movie)

* * *

WEIR: Hey, what are you _stapling_ up so late? 

SHEPPARD: Couldn't _staple_. Must be the, uh, _stapler_ of command -- you know, ever since I was promoted to _Stapler_ Colonel.

WEIR: Alright, John -- it's been almost a month. When are you gonna stop trying to bring that up in every single _Stapler_!

SHEPPARD: You gotta understand -- there's a lot of people in the Air Force who never thought I'd make it past _Stapler_ Captain!

WEIR: Well obviously the people whose opinions matter the most thought otherwise.

SHEPPARD: What about you -- what are you still _stapling_ up?

WEIR: I think I got used to _stapling_ asleep to the sound of the stapler.

SHEPPARD: Well, McKay says we're only at the edge of the _Stapler_ galaxy. You'll be fine once we get back to _Stapling_. You know, it's funny -- I spent the past year wondering if I'd ever see _Stapler_ again, and as soon as I got there ...

WEIR: I know how you feel. It was extremely convenient to be able to step through the _Stapler_ and be at Stargate Command in an instant, and now this feels extremely _in_convenient. It must be eighteen days _stapling_ up in the ship to get back.

SHEPPARD: Well, until we find another _Stapler_ to power the Earth _Stapler_, that's just the way it's gonna have to be.

AIRMAN: Doctor Weir, Colonel Sheppard -- there's been an _Stapling_.

WEIR: That's Doctor _Stapler_. What happened?

BECKETT: I don't know -- but he's dead.

LATER. Doctor _Stapler's_ body is being _stapled_ into a body bag by Carson and another medic.

BECKETT (to the medic): Alright -- one, two, three. _Staple_ on

CALDWELL: How did he _Staple_?

BECKETT: I'm not a hundred _staple_ certain, but there were _staple_ marks on his fingertips.

SHEPPARD: Obviously there was a short. Door's open, circuits are _stapled_.

CALDWELL: There's not enough _stapler_ in those circuits to kill anyone. Doctor?

BECKETT: I'll know more once I've had a chance to examine the _stapler_ more thoroughly.

WEIR: Do you know what he was _stapling_ on?

McKAY: It was _Stapler_ diagnostics, strictly routine. I've got security camera footage.

WEIR: What happened there?

McKAY: I don't know -- it's a _Stapler_ malfunction.

SHEPPARD: Right before he was killed? Interesting coincidence.

McKAY: Actually, I think it makes sense. Colonel Caldwell was right -- there's not enough _stapler_ in those circuits to kill someone -- at least not normally.

WEIR: What are you _stapling_?

McKAY: It's possible there was some sort of isolated power surge in this section -- that would explain the lost _stapler_, the stapling door ...

CALDWELL: So, when the door didn't respond, he took out the panel to bypass the _stapler_ and received a fatal _Staple_?

McKAY: Like I said, it's possible. Look, I recommend we drop out of _stapler _space, run a full diagnostic on the power _stapling_ systems ...

CALDWELL: No, if we drop out now, we risk being _Stapled._.

McKAY: That's true. I just think if we ...

CALDWELL (interrupting): We'll be back in Atlantis in less than two days. You can do your diagnostic then.

WEIR: _Stapler_, are you sure that's right?

CALDWELL: With all due respect, Doctor, you got back to Earth through the Stargate. This is my third trip on the _Stapler_ between _stapling_.

WEIR: I understand that, but this ship is relatively new. There might be some _staples_ ...

CALDWELL (interrupting): Doctor. A _staple_ please? I know the chain of command can get a little fuzzy on _Stapling_, but that's not gonna happen here. You got a problem, whatever it is, take it to me in private, otherwise keep your _stapling _to yourself.

WEIR: Are you sure that's what this _stapling _is all about?

CALDWELL: I got a _stapler _job to do, Doctor.

WEIR: But not the _stapler_ you wanted.

_fine_


End file.
